One of the most romantic delusions I have ever come across is the idea that when you suddenly feel overwhelmed with emotions because you miss someone, it’s because they are missing you too. Some people even extend this belief to loved ones who have passed away, saying their energy is reaching out because they miss you.
It goes against every scientific explanation I know, yet there is something comforting about believing it. Sometimes, when a wave of grief or longing hits without warning, you are not looking for logic. You are simply looking for a reason that helps your heart make sense of what it is feeling.
Over the past few years, there have been many moments when I have found myself unexpectedly emotional while thinking about my father. It often happens out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s triggered by a quote about a father’s love. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that appears during an ordinary day. The strange thing is that it isn’t consistent. There are days when I can think about him and smile. Then there are days when the emotions become too much, and tears arrive before I can stop them.
In those moments, I find myself wondering: is this his way of letting me know that he misses me too?
I like to believe it is.
I treat dreams about him the same way. Whenever he appears in a dream, I see it as a small sign, a quiet reminder that the bond we shared still exists somewhere beyond memory.
It sometimes happens while thinking about friends who are no longer part of your life as well.
Maybe these are just coping mechanisms. Maybe they are the natural ways our minds process grief and emotional loss. Maybe hormones, memories, and nostalgia are working together to create meaning where none exists. But if a belief brings comfort without harming anyone, why rush to take it apart?
When you are grieving or missing someone you love, facts are not always enough. Science may explain what is happening in your mind, but comfort speaks to the heart. And sometimes, comfort is all you need.
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Photo by Andrew Neel
The Monkey Dilemma 