My Loveless Indian Marriage

I’m a divorced woman now in my 40s. Mine was a typical Indian arranged marriage in my 20s. I had said yes to a proposal after saying no to many others, simply to keep my parents happy. They were worried that I didn’t want to get married at all. Back then, moving away from your parents or going against their wishes over something like marriage wasn’t really an option. You just did what they wanted.

Unlike my cousins and my elder siblings, who were eager to get married, I knew the typical Indian marriage scenario wasn’t for me. I realized this when I was still in my teens and early 20s. I’m an introvert who loves her alone time, more than the average introvert. I’m borderline a loner. Anyone who knew me as a kid can vouch for this. I rarely left the house. I still don’t. The activities I enjoyed as a kid remain more or less the same activities I enjoy now – reading, listening to music, watching TV, zoning out.

So, the idea of entering an Indian arranged marriage with a complete stranger, suddenly being expected to feel “love” for this person, giving up most of my free time, and making an effort to stay in touch with his family members and friends on a regular basis? I wasn’t sure I was cut out for any of it.

It’s easier for a man to remain a loner even after getting married. He can keep his distance from his wife’s family, not attend every event, and face little to no criticism for it. I have seen this in my extended family. But an Indian woman is expected to play a much more social role in marriage. She’s supposed to make a conscious effort to bond with her husband’s family, stay in touch with relatives, plan get-togethers, attend all events, and do all the little things that keep everyone connected. For someone like me, who values her personal space, that felt like a lot to take on.

After watching my parents grow increasingly disappointed with my constant rejection of marriage proposals, I finally gave in. I’d even tried a few dramatic ways to get the guys to reject me. Think Roja style, claiming I had a boyfriend! In one case, things almost reached the engagement stage before I told the guy that I had no romantic feelings for him and was starting to develop sisterly feelings for him instead. I’m not proud of any of these stories. I know I hurt those guys, their families, and my own family in the process. Looking back, I wish I’d handled things differently. But I’m also empathetic towards the younger me, knowing that I did such things out of sheer desperation, as there was no other way out.

Until then, I’d been the quintessential “good girl” in my family. I did well in my studies, didn’t party late at night (obviously, due to my loner tendencies), was polite, and didn’t talk back to my parents. So, needless to say, they were quite taken aback when this new, rebellious side of me emerged. Suddenly, I was the daughter who is problematic because she didn’t want to get married.

Then, one day, after seeing my parents get emotional, I decided that I would say yes to the next arranged marriage proposal that came my way, no matter who the guy was.

My parents chose a guy. I thought he was fairly good-looking, and he seemed quite smitten with me at the time. I finally said yes.

And that’s how my arranged marriage happened.

My goal was simple: make it work somehow. I thought love might bloom eventually, just as people kept telling me it would. Maybe I would be one of those people who fell in love after marriage.

Around that time, Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi was released. I remember going to the theatre and feeling a little emotional when the song “Haule Haule Ho Jayega Pyaar” started playing. The line means that love will arrive slowly and steadily. At that point in my life, I genuinely felt as though the song had been written for me. I was sitting there, wondering the same thing over and over again: Will I ever fall in love with this person?

Society had taught me that love wasn’t all that important anyway. What mattered was settling down, getting married, and making the relationship work. So, I settled. But love never made its presence felt. And that frustrated both of us.

Looking back, I don’t think love ever stood much of a chance in our marriage because we were incompatible in so many ways. We weren’t compatible intellectually, emotionally, or physically. We could be two perfectly decent people individually and still bring out the worst in each other as a couple.

We belonged to the same caste, and our horoscopes matched. Everything was right on paper. Yet there was no warmth between us. Instead of feeling like two partners building a life together, our relationship felt like one bound by orthodox rules and expectations. He believed the husband should have the final say in decision-making. I was a feminist. He even told me that I shouldn’t read too many books because they would make me delusional about how the real world works. Apparently, ignorance is bliss. It was the first and last time in my life that someone told me reading was a bad habit.

Naturally, things went downhill.

Could I have said and done all the right things to keep the marriage going? Absolutely. But that would have meant spending a lifetime compromising, suppressing parts of myself, and settling for someone who wasn’t right for me. And honestly, it wouldn’t have been fair to him either. He deserved a partner who was genuinely compatible with him, just as I deserved the same.

This is what I wish more people understood. Being from the same caste and having matching horoscopes might tick the boxes that families consider important. But those things alone cannot guarantee a happy marriage. They don’t tell you whether two people share similar values, respect each other’s opinions, connect emotionally, or want the same things from life.

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Photo by Anoop VS

AI and Its Impending Doom (?)

Recently, Jacob Coxon, a safety researcher who resigned from Anthropic in September 2026, said that both Anthropic and Open AI were “gambling with our lives” by racing toward self-improving superintelligence. He warned that there is a strong chance unchecked progress in artificial intelligence could lead to human extinction by the end of this decade.

The “self-improving superintelligence” part immediately reminded me of a fictional story I read recently called My Friend Aaron by Rory McMeekin (Google it). It was published in August, and it has all the elements of a Black Mirror short story. After reading Coxon’s recent comments about AI safety and superintelligence, that story feels almost uncomfortably real.

As someone who has been working for 15+ years in IT and now uses AI extensively for research, work, and fun, I can understand why many people aren’t taking these warnings from AI experts too seriously. Millennials have heard similar criticisms before, although about different technologies.

A few years back, AI for me at work basically meant Grammarly. It would automatically detect and correct my grammar mistakes. But there was almost a sense of guilt attached to using it, especially with so many people online shaming those who relied on writing tools. Apparently, if we are writers, we should get everything right on our own.

But I am someone who is much more comfortable thinking quickly and writing as I think than writing slowly, consciously, and perfectly. So I found Grammarly to be the perfect companion. It would catch my mistakes when I was speeding up my writing. Yet I still felt like I was doing something wrong by using the app.

It was only after ChatGPT came along that using Grammarly somehow became the lesser sin.

Now, people say, “Don’t use ChatGPT. Use Grammarly for writing and correcting small mistakes.”

If we look at the history of technology, I think this has always been the norm. A new product or technology arrives, people criticize it, and there are predictions about how it is going to ruin society or even end humanity. We saw it with the internet. We saw it with computers. And now we are seeing it with artificial intelligence.

Then something newer and more powerful comes along, and the technology that was previously considered controversial suddenly becomes normal.

I wonder if online AI bots will eventually achieve the same acceptance when something even more advanced comes along. Maybe that will be robots that look and speak like humans. Maybe it will be something we can’t even imagine yet.

Only time can tell.

Technology is definitely moving at a pace that I couldn’t have imagined a few years ago. Things that seemed like science fiction are becoming part of everyday life, and the conversation around AI is changing almost as quickly as the technology itself.

I don’t think banning AI is the answer. AI tools are helping many people, including me, speed up their work and get things done more efficiently. At the same time, I understand the criticism that AI can also make people lazy.

The problem is not using AI itself. It is how we use it. There is a big difference between using AI as an “add-on” to your work, something that helps you speed up what you already know, and using it as a complete replacement for your own knowledge and thinking.

Where that line should be drawn is something technology experts will have to figure out. And, as ordinary users, it is something we will only understand better as AI continues to evolve.

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Photo by Pavel Danilyuk

Not an MJ Fan, But This Movie Won Me Over!

Okay, I have to be honest first. I’m not a diehard Michael Jackson fan, which is probably why it took me some time to finally watch Michael. I’m actually not a diehard fan of any celebrity or public figure – you know, the kind of fan who can’t even hear anything negative about their hero without getting defensive.

I always tiptoe around such fans, concerned about whether I would offend them. This has been the case after one specific personal incident. I remember discussing a controversy with someone who was a huge MJ fan, and he went absolutely batshit crazy. He started abusing me simply because I pointed out the news when it came out.

So, in a world full of different kinds of “bhakts” covering politicians across ideologies, sportsmen, football clubs, actors, singers, influencers, religion, and everything else, I’m pretty much bhaktless. It still baffles me when people treat their favorite personalities as gods who can do no wrong or act as if they cannot be questioned.

But having said all that, I really enjoyed this movie! It was genuinely so much fun to watch.

I’m guessing there’s going to be a sequel because this movie seems to focus mainly on Michael Jackson’s troubled relationship with his father. There’s clearly a lot more of his life and career to explore.

Jaafar Jackson’s acting was phenomenal. To be cast in the lead role of his uncle might have been intimidating, but he passed with flying colors.

The song and dance sequences in the movie were incredibly energetic. The movie left me with one big feeling: positive vibes!

Michael is streaming on JioHotstar.

When Did Millennials Get So Serious?

So I’m in my 40s now, and one thing I’ve noticed lately is just how serious many of my peers have become.

Of course, the reason is obvious – life happened. Careers happened. Marriage, kids, ageing parents, bills, responsibilities… they all have a way of changing you. It’s not like our 20s when many of us had fewer worries and life felt a lot more carefree. Growing up changes everyone.

But even then, the transformation is fascinating.

I’ve seen people who once had the most ridiculous sense of humour become almost unrecognisable. The ones who could turn any conversation into a comedy show are now quiet, serious, and sometimes even a little weighed down by life. It’s sad to see, but I understand it. That’s what life does.

That seriousness has shifted online too. Most of the funny content is by Gen Z.

I’m guilty of it myself. Somewhere along the way, I also started posting only about serious issues rather than silly ones. I look at my old posts on Facebook and don’t recognise myself either.

Surely life isn’t meant to be taken this seriously all the time?

Take the Reposts tab on Instagram, for example.

When I open someone’s reposts, I’m hoping to learn something about them. What kind of humour they enjoy. The movies they love. The random memes that made them laugh. Maybe a dog video that melted their heart. Something that tells me who they are.

Instead, I often find an endless stream of political posts.

By the time I leave their profile, I know exactly which political party they dislike, but nothing else about them.

It’s strange. Politics has become such a huge part of social media that it’s slowly replaced personality. Our online identities now revolve around what we’re against instead of what we enjoy.

I’m trying to disconnect from all of it, but it feels like a lost cause. In India, there’s almost no escaping politics. Even when you’re sitting in a hospital waiting room in Kerala, there’s usually a news channel playing on the TV. It’s as if we’re not allowed to switch off from the constant political noise, even when we’re unwell.

And when did millennials become this serious?

We were genuinely funny. I would even argue we were funnier than Gen Z.

Every now and then, I go back and read old Facebook posts and comments, and it’s like opening a time capsule. People teased each other endlessly. There was harmless banter, ridiculous inside jokes, and conversations that wandered off in every direction.

Nobody was trying to go viral. Nobody cared about engagement or reach. We were just… hanging out online.

Of course, social media algorithms haven’t helped.

Today, a post from your friend with 4 likes gets buried, while a random stranger whom you’re not following ends up at the top of your feed.

Half the time, when I open Facebook, I’m looking at people I’ve never met. If I actually want to see what my friends are posting, I have to switch to the Friends feed. Extra steps, too cumbersome, leading to less engagement.

I really hope someone builds a social media platform that brings back what made the early internet so much fun. A place where the goal isn’t chasing likes, growing followers, or gaming the algorithm.

Just a place where friends share everyday moments. Random thoughts. Terrible jokes. Blurry photos. Half-baked opinions. Embarrassing stories.

You know… life.

I would join that platform in a heartbeat.

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Photo by MART PRODUCTION

Musafir Cafe: For The Ones We Loved and Lost

If you’ve ever loved and lost, you’ll probably relate to Musafir Cafe.

The yearning, confusion, helplessness, and desperate search for closure all felt incredibly real. It is one of those rare romance dramas that understands that moving on isn’t as simple as people make it seem.

Love is rarely a straight road, yet many Bollywood romance films still portray it that way. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, and the conflicts are usually external, whether it’s parents, caste, or society.

While those issues absolutely continue to exist today, many modern relationships fall apart for entirely different reasons. Ego clashes, incompatibility, poor communication, bad timing, emotional baggage, and countless other factors play a role.

Relationships are layered and complicated, so why are we still confined to the typical boy-meets-girl stories?

That is where Musafir Cafe stands out. Instead of polishing relationships into something easy to consume, it embraces the messiness of love. The emotions feel raw, honest, and deeply human.

Even when the characters move forward with their lives, the past never completely disappears. And that’s exactly how real life works. We all carry pieces of our past relationships with us. They shape who we become. Some people turn them into lessons, while others carry the bitterness into every relationship that follows.

I haven’t read the book that Musafir Cafe is based on, and I actually think that worked in my favor. Once you’ve read the original book, comparisons are almost impossible to avoid. Going into the Netflix series without those expectations allowed me to experience the story exactly as it unfolded, without constantly measuring it against the source material.

The standout performance for me was Vedika Pinto as Sudha. A very close second was Mahima Makwana as Preeti, only because she wasn’t given enough screen time. But the moment she broke down in sheer helplessness, I found myself tearing up too. That fear of losing everything precious to you felt painfully relatable.

What resonated with me even more was her attempt to handle the situation with maturity despite the emotional turmoil. That part felt deeply personal because I’m exactly the same when it comes to matters of love. I don’t create a scene. I create space for the other person to process their emotions, even when it hurts.

Another refreshing aspect of Musafir Cafe was how natural everyone looked on screen. No obvious lip fillers or overly polished appearances. It reminded me of the 90s, when actors looked more relatable and expressive.

It was also nice to see small black bindis, black kajal, long earrings, and flowy Indian outfits take center stage again. These were once iconic Bollywood fashion staples but have become less common with the rise of minimalist beauty trends. Whether you prefer minimalism or not, there’s no denying that these little details add a certain charm and charisma to female characters.

Personally, I’ve always felt that black kajal has a depth that brown kajal simply doesn’t. It frames the eyes in a way that’s hypnotic. It’s probably one of the reasons people on Reddit still bring up Alia Bhatt’s looks in films like 2 States and Badrinath Ki Dulhania. Her bold black kajal became such a defining part of those looks.

If you’re looking for a heartwarming yet emotionally honest Netflix series, I’d definitely recommend giving Musafir Cafe a watch. It has around 8 episodes, making it an easy binge.

Mollywood Times: Can You Really Write Your Own Destiny?

How many times have we been told to “write our own destiny”? It sounds great in motivational speeches, LinkedIn posts, and social media captions. But I’m someone who has always believed that no matter how hard you try to shape your own future, life doesn’t always turn out the way you imagined. There is another factor that rarely gets enough credit: luck.

Think about it. You can fight against all odds, convince your parents, and marry the love of your life. That’s definitely an example of writing your own destiny. But whether that marriage turns out to be happy and fulfilling depends on many things that are completely outside your control. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a toxic relationship simply cannot be fixed. It’s not always because you didn’t try hard enough. Sometimes, circumstances, timing, or plain luck have different plans.

The same applies to almost every part of life. Whether it’s your career, passion, business, or even a hobby, you can put in your heart and soul and still not get the outcome you hoped for. Success often depends on external factors that you simply cannot control. Effort matters, but so do timing, opportunity, and luck.

That’s exactly why Mollywood Times stood out to me. This Malayalam movie explores a similar idea, showing how life can take unexpected turns despite the choices we make. It’s built around a thought-provoking premise that feels relatable, and I was surprised that it didn’t receive the attention it deserved. In my opinion, it’s one of those underrated Malayalam movies that deserved much more recognition.

Naslen delivers another brilliant performance, and the supporting cast does a great job as well. The film also has a dark sense of humour that really worked for me. It balances serious themes with clever comedy without making either feel forced.

While browsing Reddit after watching the film, I noticed that many viewers believe the story is inspired by real-life events and have been trying to guess the filmmakers involved. That could very well be true, but we’ll never really know what happened behind closed doors.

Overall, Mollywood Times is an engaging Malayalam film that’s well worth watching at least once. It’s currently streaming on JioHotstar.