I am a type INFJ (advocate) and I was impressed by how true the description was. It felt like my innermost feelings and thoughts were out on display for everyone to see. So much so that, I started sending a link of the INFJ description page to anyone who was curious about my personality. I am pretty sure I won’t be able to come up with a more befitting description than the one on the site.
Also, that one person who you thought for sure was an extrovert, might just as well turn out be an introvert! What we show to the public, is seldom the truth, and this test kind of captures the gist.
The quiz is quite long but give it a go if you love digging deep into personality types and you have some time for self-analysis. You can find all personality type descriptions under the “Personality Types” tab of the website.
Another fun thing to do – make your loved ones take the test and compare results!
Time and again, we see an article about a well-known person having a controversial history. You hold it against them thinking they must have never learned or risen above it. “So and so said this or that ridiculous thing 10 years back or 20 years back. They are not what they look like!”
People change over time. I can say for myself that my beliefs 10 years back aren’t the same as now. I have evolved and learned from my mistakes. I used to say the weirdest things, which when I look back at now, make me cringe into oblivion. It helped that I had a written version of all these thoughts (one of the few times I would like to thank social media), but since many don’t, you never get to recap on your judgments and think “What all shit did I say back then!” It is not the same for a celebrity though. Every single thing done or said by them is chronicled.
Sometimes I am glad I am not a celebrity. There is no one keeping a record of what I am saying and I have no fear of someone putting it on a big banner and exhibiting it in front of me many years from now when I am trying to progress in life.
Some people don’t learn, but should the default thinking be always pessimistic?
A controversial history could have been a very valuable lesson for the person. But how can they move on if society will not allow them to? At every road and juncture, they are reminded of what they said years ago – back when they didn’t know any better. Imagine that happening to us – someone continually reminding us of our failed relationships or divorce or mistakes.
Instead of judging by their past, analyze them by their current events, behavior, and personality. That will hold more true than outdated facts.
I recently watched a podcast by Kenny Sebastian on YouTube (Simple Ken – Episode 19), and something the guest said resonated a lot with me.
I am not at all ambitious. I have zero ambition. My ambition in my life is to be happy. I am not really competitive. For me to see another person doing well, I don’t really care, as long as it is not affecting my happiness. If you are really happy with yourself, another person’s achievements won’t concern you. There are many people who can look happy from outside, but miserable from inside.
I just want enough money to live a comfortable life. I mean, my own money, not taken from someone else. There is an amount that will make me comfortable, and I am okay with earning that amount or a little bit higher, but I am not reaching for something more.
It just makes me happier and calmer.
Tara Molloth
I am a minimalist, so each and every word struck a chord with me. I found it refreshing, because it is not something you hear people say openly. It is almost like a sin to say you are not ambitious nowadays in this fast-paced world.
Why isn’t this way of life more common?
Why isn’t happiness an ambition?
It’s okay to take a step back and breathe. It is okay to slow down. It is okay to not want the same things as others. It is okay to feel happy with little.
Our world is so obsessed with stellar achievements, ambitions, agenda, goals and to be on the move all the time that we often forget the key ingredient for survival: happiness.
To be happy with your work. Is that big fat paycheck, the sole reason you are sticking to the job you hate, really worth your mental peace?
To be happy in our relationships. Why do people sometimes suffer so much for so little?
To be happy with what we have. Why do we have to indulge in more when we are already content with our current standard of living?
Is “more” always the answer to happiness? If that were the case, celebrities would never be diagnosed with depression.
We have never been more fanatical about perfection. What is even more concerning is happiness being valued in terms of material possessions. That we *should* have the perfect car, perfect job, perfect house etc.
Your dream is sometimes not your dream, but a dream that someone else subconsciously has painted for you. We could be satisfied with far less, but we always push ourselves to do more, because truth be told, society is not impressed with frugality. As an example, look around, and see how many people are complimenting someone for their money-saving skills. We never say “Wow, you saved so much money by buying a small house/car/TV” We never show off our small expenses, but are quick to pose in front of a fancy restaurant or expensive car or check-in to business class lounges on Facebook.
The showstoppers, the ones with a deep pocket are admired, whereas the ones who enjoy a quiet and peaceful life are looked down upon. But then the world doesn’t care if you slip into debt or depression either.
Don’t let everyone’s preconceived notions steal you away from your one true goal and ambition: happiness.
As a single, mid-30-year-old, I have given solitude enough chance to say now with confidence that – it is grossly underrated.
Solitude is peaceful, solitude is kind, solitude can be friendly and as intoxicating as wine.
Most will never know because the general perception of solitude is not appealing. Even a quick image search on solitude will display an array of dark, gloomy, and depressed visuals. I had to refine my search to “happy single woman” to get the picture above.
No one wants to give solitude a chance. What we truly are scared of is its notorious doppelganger – loneliness. They both might look the same, but are as different as chalk and cheese.
We are afraid of solitude because there is this constant expectation, from society and ourselves included, to find that perfect partner. You need to find “The One”, only then are you deemed “complete”. Your life is worthless otherwise. I wonder who was the first person who fed this thought into our minds.
The truth is – we can feel complete in so many different ways. Through our platonic friendships, activities, hobbies, work, parents, extended family. But we choose to feel complete only with a partner. Trying to convince ourselves we are not whole on our own.
For the longest time, I wanted to get married, follow the usual societal norms. But in my mind, I would question my motive behind it. Did I want to get married? Or was I interested in getting married because that’s what everyone does? I feel it was the latter. I just wanted to follow the rules set by society for a woman – work, get married before 30, and have children. It took one marriage to make me realize, maybe the time for me was not right back then. I dived into it way too early. Primarily because of pressure. Partly because of confusion.
I hope a day comes when solitude isn’t mistaken for loneliness. They are poles apart. One gives you freedom, the other pain. One gives you peace, the other trauma. One gives you clarity, the other makes you commit blunders out of impatience.
I hope one day, solitude, my sweet misunderstood friend, people give you a fair chance. Find out for themselves that you are not so bad, after all.
The Monkey Dilemma 