Breaking Taboos, One Bindi at a Time

The other day, a neighbour came over for a chat.

She’s a Muslim and a communist. I mention both because it helps explain the situation. Despite coming from a deeply religious and conservative family, she’s personally quite liberal.

She told me how her daughter landed in trouble for posting a photo on social media wearing a bindi, the small forehead dot traditionally worn by many Indian women, especially Hindus.

Her sister’s daughters, who apparently keep tabs on everyone’s social media, spotted the photo, shared it with the rest of the family, and turned it into a full-blown controversy.

The best part?

The girl refused to delete the photo.

I told my neighbour something I genuinely believe. If someone has an irrational “allergy” to something completely harmless, the solution isn’t to hide it. The solution is to let them see it so often that it eventually becomes normal.

If a harmless bindi causes outrage, keep wearing it until people get used to seeing it.

If colours like saffron, orange, or green trigger unnecessary controversy, keep wearing them until they stop attracting attention. This is related to the incessant mockery that the actress Priya Prakash Varrier faced in Kerala from a journalist for appearing in a Cuticura campaign wearing a Orange coloured outfit (or in his words “Saffron-coloured”). She had chosen the outfit simply to match the brand’s colours. Even something as ordinary as a dress colour became a point of criticism.

Similarly, if being divorced is treated as a stigma, then more divorced people should stop hiding, own the label without shame, and help normalize it.

That’s how irrational taboos lose their power. Not through arguments, but through familiarity. When ordinary people refuse to feel ashamed of harmless personal choices, those choices gradually stop being controversial.

I’m obviously not saying, “Keep using drugs until people get used to it.” I’m talking about harmless personal choices, whether it’s wearing a bindi, choosing a colour, or being divorced, that other people feel entitled to police.

The more these everyday choices are seen in public, the less power stigma and social policing have over people’s lives.

***

Photo by Sharath G.

Musafir Cafe: For The Ones We Loved and Lost

If you’ve ever loved and lost, you’ll probably relate to Musafir Cafe.

The yearning, confusion, helplessness, and desperate search for closure all felt incredibly real. It is one of those rare romance dramas that understands that moving on isn’t as simple as people make it seem.

Love is rarely a straight road, yet many Bollywood romance films still portray it that way. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, and the conflicts are usually external, whether it’s parents, caste, or society.

While those issues absolutely continue to exist today, many modern relationships fall apart for entirely different reasons. Ego clashes, incompatibility, poor communication, bad timing, emotional baggage, and countless other factors play a role.

Relationships are layered and complicated, so why are we still confined to the typical boy-meets-girl stories?

That is where Musafir Cafe stands out. Instead of polishing relationships into something easy to consume, it embraces the messiness of love. The emotions feel raw, honest, and deeply human.

Even when the characters move forward with their lives, the past never completely disappears. And that’s exactly how real life works. We all carry pieces of our past relationships with us. They shape who we become. Some people turn them into lessons, while others carry the bitterness into every relationship that follows.

I haven’t read the book that Musafir Cafe is based on, and I actually think that worked in my favor. Once you’ve read the original book, comparisons are almost impossible to avoid. Going into the Netflix series without those expectations allowed me to experience the story exactly as it unfolded, without constantly measuring it against the source material.

The standout performance for me was Vedika Pinto as Sudha. A very close second was Mahima Makwana as Preeti, only because she wasn’t given enough screen time. But the moment she broke down in sheer helplessness, I found myself tearing up too. That fear of losing everything precious to you felt painfully relatable.

What resonated with me even more was her attempt to handle the situation with maturity despite the emotional turmoil. That part felt deeply personal because I’m exactly the same when it comes to matters of love. I don’t create a scene. I create space for the other person to process their emotions, even when it hurts.

Another refreshing aspect of Musafir Cafe was how natural everyone looked on screen. No obvious lip fillers or overly polished appearances. It reminded me of the 90s, when actors looked more relatable and expressive.

It was also nice to see small black bindis, black kajal, long earrings, and flowy Indian outfits take center stage again. These were once iconic Bollywood fashion staples but have become less common with the rise of minimalist beauty trends. Whether you prefer minimalism or not, there’s no denying that these little details add a certain charm and charisma to female characters.

Personally, I’ve always felt that black kajal has a depth that brown kajal simply doesn’t. It frames the eyes in a way that’s hypnotic. It’s probably one of the reasons people on Reddit still bring up Alia Bhatt’s looks in films like 2 States and Badrinath Ki Dulhania. Her bold black kajal became such a defining part of those looks.

If you’re looking for a heartwarming yet emotionally honest Netflix series, I’d definitely recommend giving Musafir Cafe a watch. It has around 8 episodes, making it an easy binge.

The Best Part of Project Hail Mary Wasn’t The Space Adventure

The most impressive part of Project Hail Mary isn’t the science, the space adventure, or the mission. It’s the friendship between two complete opposites. Two beings who don’t share the same language, appearance, history, or culture, yet somehow come together to create something beautiful.

When you think about it, we’re all aliens to someone from another culture. The way we speak, the food we eat, the way we dress, our traditions, our manners, everything can feel unfamiliar.

But those differences disappear when there’s mutual respect and a genuine willingness to understand and acknowledge each other. That’s what makes the friendship in Project Hail Mary special. It reminds you that connection doesn’t always need similarity. Sometimes, it just needs empathy.

It’s also the kind of friendship you wish existed in real life. The kind where someone chooses to stay, no matter how uncomfortable or polarizing things get.

Recently, I came across a beautiful Instagram post about what it means to be consciously “kept” in someone’s life, to be chosen day after day, without giving up. It stayed with me because I’ve had friendships and relationships that didn’t last. Sometimes I was the one who didn’t want to continue. Other times, they didn’t. But in almost every case, at least one of us wanted it to survive. We wanted the other person not to walk away. We hoped they would understand, stay, or try a little harder. It’s neither’s fault, because everyone has their own breaking point, but you can’t help hold that idealistic thought that we would all fight to keep each other.

When you eventually realize that you’re the only one doing that fighting, it hurts. It affects your self-esteem. “Wasn’t I worth it?” It’s one of those heartbreaks that doesn’t always have a dramatic ending. You move on, quietly. Accepting it as your fate. Other times, you dwell in self-pity.

But some things can never be forced. Not love. Not affection. And certainly not friendship.

Watching Project Hail Mary reminded me of all of that. I don’t know if a friendship as pure and selfless as the one in the movie really exists, but it was comforting to watch. It made me believe, at least for a couple of hours, that such connections are possible.

I wish I had watched it on the big screen instead of on Amazon Prime. The visuals are absolutely stunning, and this is one of those sci-fi movies that deserves to be experienced in a theater. Still, I’m glad I finally watched it.

And Ryan Gosling was simply fantastic. At no point does it feel like he’s acting. He disappears into the character so completely that you forget you’re watching one of Hollywood’s biggest stars. That’s always the sign of a great performance.

I would absolutely recommend watching the movie on the biggest screen at home if possible. Streaming on Amazon Prime.

When People Forget You

Memory is such a weird thing. Some people remember the tiniest details about me from years ago, while others can’t recall spending time with me ever. They have forgotten entire moments. A day out, the day we talked, the laughs we shared.

I mean, how is that even possible? How can people erase entire days?

It also leaves you with a strange sense of self-doubt. Did you not make enough of an impression to be remembered?

A school friend, whom I reconnected with years later, couldn’t remember that we had spoken over the phone before. He was under the impression we had never talked. Another friend couldn’t recollect attending a wedding with me, which was actually the place where we first met. Even today, he acts as though we’ve never met. A few days ago, another friend, this time a woman, said she doesn’t remember going to a movie with me. It wasn’t just a quick outing. The entire day revolved around that one activity, so it was mind-boggling to realize that the memory had completely disappeared from her mind.

And then there are people like my niece, who can remember things from years ago with surprising clarity. Every time she brings up something I had completely forgotten, I’m both amazed and happy.

I guess this just proves that human memory is a fickle thing. It isn’t the perfect record of our lives that we often assume it is. So how can we depend on memory alone to define our current relationships or friendships and the moments that mattered?

Maybe someone, somewhere, did something incredibly kind for you, but you’ve completely forgotten it. Over time, you start believing they were never there for you because the memory no longer exists. You convince yourself there were no meaningful moments together, when in reality, they simply faded away.

Sometimes, forgotten memories say more about how the mind works than they do about the people involved.

It’s kind of scary, isn’t it? How hard do we have to try to hold on to the good memories? To make sure time doesn’t play the villain and quietly erases them for good.

***

Photo by Baro

When Missing Someone Hits Out of Nowhere

One of the most romantic delusions I have ever come across is the idea that when you suddenly feel overwhelmed with emotions because you miss someone, it’s because they are missing you too. Some people even extend this belief to loved ones who have passed away, saying their energy is reaching out because they miss you.

It goes against every scientific explanation I know, yet there is something comforting about believing it. Sometimes, when a wave of grief or longing hits without warning, you are not looking for logic. You are simply looking for a reason that helps your heart make sense of what it is feeling.

Over the past few years, there have been many moments when I have found myself unexpectedly emotional while thinking about my father. It often happens out of nowhere. Sometimes it’s triggered by a quote about a father’s love. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that appears during an ordinary day. The strange thing is that it isn’t consistent. There are days when I can think about him and smile. Then there are days when the emotions become too much, and tears arrive before I can stop them.

In those moments, I find myself wondering: is this his way of letting me know that he misses me too?

I like to believe it is.

I treat dreams about him the same way. Whenever he appears in a dream, I see it as a small sign, a quiet reminder that the bond we shared still exists somewhere beyond memory.

It sometimes happens while thinking about friends who are no longer part of your life as well.

Maybe these are just coping mechanisms. Maybe they are the natural ways our minds process grief and emotional loss. Maybe hormones, memories, and nostalgia are working together to create meaning where none exists. But if a belief brings comfort without harming anyone, why rush to take it apart?

When you are grieving or missing someone you love, facts are not always enough. Science may explain what is happening in your mind, but comfort speaks to the heart. And sometimes, comfort is all you need.

***

Photo by Andrew Neel

The Introvert-Extrovert Chat Paradox

Picture of two people looking at each other, depicting introversion and extroversion

Something that has caught my eye often over the years is the difference between how introverts and extroverts communicate in real life and online. I wonder if you’ve noticed it too.

I’m an introvert who loves writing and blogging. But I’m someone with a fairly extroverted chatting personality.

On the other hand, many extroverts I know are surprisingly quiet on chat. Some even come across as shy. Meanwhile, introverts like me can appear far more outgoing and expressive online.

This is where things get interesting.

Imagine a friendship that begins through real-life interactions. Someone gets to know your actual personality, and then later comes across your online personality or chat personality. What if they don’t like that version of you as much? The opposite can happen too. Someone may enjoy your confident, talkative online presence but struggle to connect with the quieter, more reserved version of you in real life.

I think this is where many misunderstandings and personality clashes happen today.

This post is simply an observation. It’s just something I’ve noticed while navigating friendship and online conversations.

As someone in my 40s, I didn’t grow up with this confusion because there was no online personality to manage. The people around you knew only one version of you.

I did start blogging during my college days. Over time, I developed an online personality that was more outgoing and expressive. The internet felt like a safe space where I could communicate freely. As someone who was studious and never benefited from what people call “pretty privilege,” writing online allowed me to share my thoughts without feeling judged.

My appearance may have changed over the years, but my introverted nature never really did. The internet continues to be a comfortable space where I could express my feelings and connect with others in a way that felt natural to me.

Today, we live in a digital age where friendships and even relationships are shaped by multiple versions of ourselves. Real-life conversations, text messages, social media interactions, blogs, and online communities collectively play a role in how others judge us.

Maybe that’s why getting to know someone has become both easier and more complicated than ever before.

***

Photo by cottonbro studio