An Ode to Dopamine Detoxes

I’m at that stage now where I can discern the reason behind my restlessness. The symptoms that previously used to confound me can finally be attributed to a source and countered with practical solutions. I say this with pride because discovering the cause of any turmoil is always the first step to recovery.

The reason for my dopamine going out of whack and my feeling a flurry of erratic emotion? Social media.

I have a love-hate relationship with social media. Because of social media, I found my voice. Because of social media, my introverted self learned to be a tad more expressive. I could post online, and there would always be someone to listen to my endless thoughts, view my never-ending selfies, and validate my existence. As much as I enjoy the platforms, I often find myself getting lost in engaging with the myriad of interesting content while also feeling bad about someone close not liking my photos or reels or videos, wondering if everyone had a life far superior to mine, wanting to go on the same expensive trips that others do even if it’s not what I want. Social media can be draining. It takes away your mental resources and leaves you with very little to deal with the everyday complexities of life.

When you feel like a puppet in a system with no say over your actions, you know it’s time to take back control. It’s time for a dopamine detox. I turn off my notifications, log out from social media, and take a break from doomscrolling. What I get in return is an incredible sense of relief and calm.

My dopamine detoxes help me connect with myself, reflect and refocus my energy. I enjoy the stillness and the ability to engage with my work, family, and thoughts without being bombarded with external distractions.

I find such dopamine detoxes more valuable at work. When you’re neck-deep immersed in tasks, the last thing you need is a distracting WhatsApp chat demanding your attention. Turning the wi-fi off helps me in cutting down on unwanted noise. To combat my Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), I remind myself that I’m just a phone call away from those who need me. Sometimes, when I need 100% me-time, I enable the flight mode on my phone. It has been a life-changer.

Enough people don’t realize what staying connected 24×7 does to your brain. If they did, everyone, including myself, would have attempted to disconnect more regularly. I know what social media does to me, and I try to step away, but it’s not long before I turn delusional again and turn a blind eye to the side effects. I relapse and restart doomscrolling.

The irony is that I have to experience the dreaded symptoms again for my brain to knock some sense into my dopamine-hungry system. The symptoms being — feeling angry about nothing, annoyed over everything, and mentally and physically empty. These symptoms are my wake-up calls to step back. The moment I do, I feel refreshed. It always astonishes me how forgiving our bodies tend to be. They are quick to spring back to life if you give them a chance. A few hours of downtime is often all it takes.

I wonder how many people must have mistaken mental overstimulation for depression and continued using social media without understanding its negative impact on them. Overstimulation is not depression, but it may lead to depression. Prolonged use of social media can result in your body crying SOS in the form of a nervous breakdown, loneliness, and anxiety. If you feel irritated when your internet is down, even though you have nothing important to finish online, you are addicted – no second thoughts about it.

Correlation between social media and depression (courtesy: system.com)

If you are interested in the studies shown in the above image, here are the links:

We can see the symptoms but somehow fail to attribute them to social media. Even if we understand the negatives, it doesn’t stop most of us from endlessly scrolling through our feeds. It might be similar to how drug addicts feel. They know the side effects of the drugs they consume and how it physically and mentally affects them, but it doesn’t stop consumption.

I was at that stage again recently, ignoring the fact that it’s time for a digital detox, when I stumbled upon the book Dopamine Detox by Thibaut Meurisse on Prime Reading. The book is available for free if you are an Amazon Prime user in India. After exhausting my monthly budget for books, I decided to give it a go. It’s a quick read. It takes about 30 minutes or less to finish but is jam-packed with information.

The book helped as a reality check. Somehow I had conveniently forgotten what social media could do to my mental health and had started overusing it. I even attributed my increased irritability and lack of energy to sleep deprivation, vitamin deficiency, or lack of exercise. I fixed all these issues but turned a blind eye to my social media usage. Eventually, from a state of surrender, I accepted that disconnecting from social media was the best way to resolve my problem. So, dear readers, if everything fails to lift up your mood, try logging out from your social media accounts.

I have cut down my usage, but I have no idea when things will go down south again. For now, I enjoy being wide awake, in the present, and the temporary freedom from negativity. I have set up social media time restrictions on my phone to prevent doomscrolling, but how long before I disable them and return to my old ways? Only time can tell.

An Ode to Taking Fewer Photos and Living in the Moment

I take a sip of refreshing chai and relish the warmth it brings.

I visit a striking green paradise and breathe in the intoxicating air.

I spend time laughing with my loved ones, engaging in deep conversations.

Time stands still.

I welcome the moment with a big smile, comfortable baggy clothes, and frizzy hair.

All of it, without taking a single photograph to lock the moment.

There’s no pressure to look perfect.

There’s no pressure to get the perfect photographs, angles, filters, and light.

It’s perfect as it is.

In this age of social media, consciously taking a step back to enjoy life has proven therapeutic. It’s a transition that happened naturally for me during the pandemic. A metamorphosis that seeped unconsciously and significantly helped to reduce my anxiety. Along with it came the realization that we don’t have to lock everything in static images or never-ending videos. Sometimes, it’s okay to not record and to take that risk of losing a moment forever. Rest assured, the important things will stick and refuse to detach from you. You don’t really need a camera for that.

The constant pressure of social media, with its likes, shares, and validation, can weaken even the bravest. If our first reaction to a beautiful scenery is to take our phone out and view it through the camera’s lens, rest assured, we are not genuinely engaging. Our mind gets distracted by the constant back-and-forth shuffle between real life and reel life (Instagram or otherwise). The pressure doesn’t end there. Once you post the image, you are then distracted by who liked your pictures and what they commented. Each of these tasks might only take a few seconds. Still, collectively that’s a lot of time wasted navigating away from the present.

Contrary to popular notions, human beings are terrible at multitasking. Our brains are not wired to handle these many distractions. You can get things done, of course, but the overall value would reduce if you indulge in multiple interests simultaneously. Don’t believe me? Try to cut out other sensory reactions when you are listening to music – switch off the lights and engage in your favorite melodies. You will experience it like never before. The vocals and instruments sound sharper, richly intense, and more beautiful, purely because you are only focusing on the music alone and nothing else.

As a New Year resolution, maybe more people should learn to ignore the 24/7 pressure box they hold so tenderly in their hands. You can do more good for your body with this simple act – probably more than a gym membership would be able to.

An Ode to Supportive Strangers

As a kid, you’re told not to talk to strangers. But with experience, I have come to the realization that talking to strangers is not such a bad thing after all. In fact, I would say, out with the old “don’t talk to strangers” and in with the new “reach out to more strangers.”

It all started with my first blog. I received the most support from strangers.

Then came my business (now defunct). Again, I received incredible support from strangers.

At each phase of my life, I was indebted to the fact that strangers have always been more kind to me than the ones I personally know. With some observation, I realized this is the story for a lot of people. Strangers often tend to support more.

Is this because strangers are more kind? Or because more strangers than friends/relatives are on the lookout for what you have to offer? Maybe distance makes the heart go fonder, and up-close we are full of blunder? Or perhaps, it’s because strangers know how it is to feel unseen, to be treated like a stranger.

The world is vast, and people are boundless with distinct personalities and mental models. If our content does not cater to the needs of a small group of friends/relatives, instead of sticking to the archaic scripture of not talking to strangers, we should, maybe just maybe, reach out to more. The ones who would eventually become your tribe. The ones who understand your thought process and techniques.

I often feel intensely grateful to the strangers who have taken the time out to support me, often juxtaposed with an uncomfortable question, “Why are the people I know less supportive?”

Some of these kind strangers have moved on, but in that short span of time, they have offered me more love and encouragement than any person I know. I am armed with the knowledge that strangers can be beautiful, and probably this is why I am more open to newcomers joining any close-knit community that I am in, whereas others appear to be wary or hostile.

I am convinced that this is why the universe sends us strangers—to play an important but short role in our life. So we don’t lose hope in our core beliefs, the ones we would love to passionately share with the world.

An Ode to the Non-Toxic Side of Twitter

Twitter has got a bad reputation.

It is called toxic. It is called unfriendly. It is arguably one of the most-hated social networking sites that people surprisingly cannot get enough of.

I have a different take on Twitter though.

How Twitter acts actually depends on whom you follow.

If you follow toxic people, then yes, Twitter will be toxic for you. No question about that. If you follow the right people – people whom you can learn from, people who have the most thought-provoking things to say – then Twitter is the right place to be!

It is all about making the right choice. You cannot expect to follow a bunch of pessimists, hate mongers, crass talkers and expect any place (offline or online) to be a lively, positive place to be in.

If someone you follow is spewing hate, unfollow them. Or better still – block them.

If someone you follow is liking posts that are spewing hate, unfollow them.

Rinse and repeat till your social media feed is clean.

Twitter is more than its infamous toxicity. It is a great place to get tips and tricks with respect to work. I sometimes feel it is more helpful than LinkedIn. All you have to do is follow work-related or any interest-related topics (by that, I do not mean topics that can offend and trigger you) to gain access to a plethora of knowledge.

I got tips from Twitter, which I have implemented at my workplace. Hard to believe but true nonetheless.

Where else would you see people unabashedly voicing their opinions on books, life, philosophy, work, family, and more, without the need of any media distractions? The focus is purely on words. There is no need to accessorize those words with pictures, audio, or video. The central attraction is your mind. Everything else becomes secondary.

But we choose to focus on the negatives. Like how we do with every other thing in life.

Of course, this does not mean putting your mental health at risk. If you feel someone or something is proving detrimental to your peace of mind, let go immediately. Or demand some space. Again, the choice is yours.

This rule applies to any social media networking site. If you feel social networking is toxic, pause a bit and check whom you follow.

The point is, you should not be the one making sacrifices when someone else is to blame. Tweak the situation such that you get to do what you like while cleanly cutting off the negativity that is making the experience less enjoyable. In social media sites, sometimes all it takes is a simple unfollow to regain peace.

P.S: No, I do not work for Twitter.