blogging – The Monkey Dilemma

Picture of two people looking at each other, depicting introversion and extroversion

Something that has caught my eye often over the years is the difference between how introverts and extroverts communicate in real life and online. I wonder if you’ve noticed it too.

I’m an introvert who loves writing and blogging. But I’m someone with a fairly extroverted chatting personality.

On the other hand, many extroverts I know are surprisingly quiet on chat. Some even come across as shy. Meanwhile, introverts like me can appear far more outgoing and expressive online.

This is where things get interesting.

Imagine a friendship that begins through real-life interactions. Someone gets to know your actual personality, and then later comes across your online personality or chat personality. What if they don’t like that version of you as much? The opposite can happen too. Someone may enjoy your confident, talkative online presence but struggle to connect with the quieter, more reserved version of you in real life.

I think this is where many misunderstandings and personality clashes happen today.

This post is simply an observation. It’s just something I’ve noticed while navigating friendship and online conversations.

As someone in my 40s, I didn’t grow up with this confusion because there was no online personality to manage. The people around you knew only one version of you.

I did start blogging during my college days. Over time, I developed an online personality that was more outgoing and expressive. The internet felt like a safe space where I could communicate freely. As someone who was studious and never benefited from what people call “pretty privilege,” writing online allowed me to share my thoughts without feeling judged.

My appearance may have changed over the years, but my introverted nature never really did. The internet continues to be a comfortable space where I could express my feelings and connect with others in a way that felt natural to me.

Today, we live in a digital age where friendships and even relationships are shaped by multiple versions of ourselves. Real-life conversations, text messages, social media interactions, blogs, and online communities collectively play a role in how others judge us.

Maybe that’s why getting to know someone has become both easier and more complicated than ever before.

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Photo by cottonbro studio

I was one of those people who used to wonder why people published Mother’s Day posts online when their mother, who did not even have a social media presence, was right there next to them. Why not talk to them directly?

That was until I started writing such emotional, mushy posts myself. But with a small twist – I read them out to my mom as well.

My 65+ year old mother does not use social media because all the options and features intimidate her. I can see the cheer on her face though, when I tell her that I have posted something online. She tells me to read them out to her. She proceeds to ask how many people liked the post. “What did they say?” So I read out the multitude of comments. This questioning continues throughout the day. Satisfied with the likes and comments, she moves on to some other distraction. The post is now forgotten, but in that period of time, it gave her much interest and joy.

I have always felt most people express things better when they write it out. It is the reason why even mental health professionals encourage journal writing.

Express all you want online, but don’t forget to read it out to the person to whom it is dedicated to. Or at least make sure they have seen it.

Trust me, the smile you will get, will truly be worth all your scribbles!