I went on the road that I was told not to take,
I did things I was told not to do,
I wanted things I couldn’t want, I got hurt and hurt again;
You can call me stupid, then I’ll just smile
I don’t wanna succeed by doing things I don’t wanna do.
Wings by BTS
I came across the above verse by RM (kindly translated by a Reddit user), and it made me think of my own life decisions. The words resonated with me a lot – taking the path that isn’t the norm because it feels right. It could be a path filled with mistakes, it could be stupid or nonsensical, ridiculed by others, but it does not matter because the path is authentically mine.
I went against the tide when I was young and still am – living as a 40-year-old single woman in a society that emphasizes marriage and having a family is not for the faint-hearted. I am bang in the center of all the guilt-tripping and moral policing, but I still am going strong because there is no other way I would have it.
There are other things I do that aren’t considered ideal, like not being ambitious or wanting to race to the top. I am generally content in life. The new world requires you to be on your toes, aiming for the best always, and be in a constant state of restlessness. That streak was missing in me since childhood. I enjoy the slow life and the calmness and peace that it entails. I knew doing anything else could only result in me being unhappy.
How do we stay true to ourselves when the world wants us to go the opposite way?
They tell you not to live your life through your feelings, but that’s how I have been till now. I do not get into something half-hearted just because it is the norm. It may or may not seem like the best way for others, but it sure as well keeps me sane. It took me a long time to accept this side of me – I spent more than 30 years thinking something was wrong with how I felt. Considering I’m in my 40s, that’s a very short period of me feeling a sense of normalcy.
Don’t do that to yourself. And don’t let anyone make you spend more than 75% of your life thinking you are “weird” or “out of place” or an alien. Your feelings are valid. I don’t think people realize this when they are young because we are competitive and constantly comparing ourselves to others. But over time, you will realize there is only one authentic, wholesome, happy way to live your life – and that’s yours.
Ending with a beautiful song by BTS, titled Paradise. It’s a lyrical video, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the words of motivation:
It’s alright to stop
You don’t need to run without knowing why
It’s alright to not have any dreams
If you have moments where you can feel happiness
It’s alright to stop
Don’t run without knowing where you’re going anymore
It’s alright not to have any dreams
All of the air you breathe out is already paradise
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Photo by Gabriel Hohol