Why ‘The Girlfriend’ Left Me Thinking About Parenting and Love

The Girlfriend Telugu Movie Photo

I started watching the Telugu film The Girlfriend with low expectations. I assumed it would be yet another romantic drama that glorifies toxic relationships and emotional manipulation in the name of love. To my surprise, the movie took a more thoughtful and layered route.

Minor spoilers ahead for context

The Girlfriend doesn’t just explore unhealthy love. It also dives into toxic parenting and how childhood conditioning shapes adult behaviour. The female lead is quiet, agreeable, and used to shrinking herself. The film makes it clear that her personality isn’t random. Her upbringing trained her to feel guilty for wanting space, choices, or independence. So when she picks a controlling partner, it feels strangely familiar to her. She’s not frightened of it at first, but she faces a tinge of uncertainty throughout. She tries to treat her partner’s behaviour towards her as normal because she has spent years adjusting to her father’s controlling behaviour. But deep down, there’s a quiet discomfort she can’t ignore. Something feels off, and her instincts begin to push back. This duality is what makes the character so different. This push and pull that many of us have experienced in our own relations with others who are not right for us.

The male lead, on the other hand, is aggressive, impulsive, and driven by ego. He worships Virat Kohli, maybe because he admires the cricketer’s aggressiveness and his devotion towards his wife, Anushka Sharma. He has a charming personality and enjoys a lot of attention. People around him like him, and he knows it. He’s used to getting what he wants, even in friendships. His behaviour reflects a narcissistic mindset where his needs come first, and empathy barely exists. Yet he remains popular, which feels very realistic. In real life, people like him often get the benefit of the doubt because their confidence and charm make them likable, even when behind closed doors, they’re not. This is why it’s often hard for someone with a narcissistic partner to justify leaving. People around them struggle to believe anything is wrong. The scene where he delivers that long, dramatic monologue in front of everyone when she ends the relationship is unforgettable and true to life. It’s an attempt to stage himself as the victim, even when he himself was the one in the relationship with the problematic dynamic.

When the movie shows the male lead’s mother, the pattern becomes clear. She mirrors the heroine’s personality. Anxious. Passive. Always accommodating. His father dominated the household, and his mother absorbed the behaviour without protest. In his partner, he doesn’t just see love. He sees a repetition of his family dynamic. In his own dysfunctional world, this is the definition of love.

This is what makes the film interesting. Many romantic movies in Indian cinema focus only on the lovers. But The Girlfriend highlights how family culture, parenting style, and generational trauma influence relationships. It reminds you that behaviour has context.

It made me think of my own past. My ex-husband had a similar attitude at home. I remember watching him take all his mother’s freshly washed clothes and throw them outside the house, onto the dirt-filled ground, just because she left them drying near the house’s entrance. She didn’t scold him. She didn’t even react. She simply smiled and picked them up to wash again. She later told me she was once abandoned on the roadside at night by her husband after an argument. She narrated it casually, as if it were normal. That’s when I understood why her son expected unquestioning loyalty and forgiveness from his own partner, me.

Watching the movie felt personal because it portrayed something many Indian families silently live with. Not abuse in the usual cinematic sense, but the subtle cycle of fear, guilt, silence, and acceptance.

I liked The Girlfriend mainly because of how honestly it handled the parenting angle. The performances were solid, especially from Rashmika Mandanna and Dheekshith Shetty. Their chemistry felt natural, and the relationship dynamics never felt exaggerated or forced. The emotional tension, confusion, fear, and hope all felt real. It’s rare to see an Indian movie explore love, trauma, and family influence with this level of subtlety. If you enjoy character-driven cinema with emotionally complex and layered characters, this one is worth watching.

The Girlfriend is streaming on Netflix and runs for 2 hours and 18 minutes.

Why Indian Parents Should Watch Adolescence

Adolescence Netflix

The Netflix series Adolescence is a wake-up call. It shook me to the core and shed light on the stark realities the new generation faces.

I grew up in a time when online influence was non-existent, and our worldview was shaped by the people around us. Today, that has changed. Algorithms dictate perspectives, feeding you opinions from across the world. Knowledge is no longer derived from just parents, teachers, or elders. This is a positive thing, but it has also resulted in an information overload.

There are several social media accounts trying to dump different perspectives on you. For every argument supporting point A, there’s another endorsing point B. Ultimately, it depends on which perspective you resonate with the most. Once you decide, the algorithm ensures you see more of it, reinforcing your beliefs. Sometimes, without you even realizing it. This can be dangerous. What if a child interacts with harmful content? The algorithm ensures they see more of it, shaping their beliefs in a troubling direction. We risk raising a generation programmed by these echo chambers. It’s a challenge we can’t ignore.

**Spoilers Ahead**

Every plus comes with a downside. Today, we have information at our fingertips, but this convenience comes at a cost. This is a reality that Adolescent portrays with unsettling accuracy. Jamie retreats to his room as soon as he gets home, immersing himself in his online world. His parents remain unaware of what he consumes, assuming, like many modern parents, that giving him complete freedom is the right approach. However, this unchecked digital exposure can shape young minds in ways they don’t anticipate, often with troubling consequences. It’s a new-age problem.

The series also introduced me to terms like Manosphere, Red Pill, and the 80-20 rule, making me realize how rapidly digital ideologies evolve. Figures like Andrew Tate are shaping young men’s perceptions of masculinity, often promoting the idea that being “alpha” means suppressing emotions. He preaches that men are providers and should be respected without being “given a headache.” This mindset isn’t foreign to India. I’ve noticed how men in my household particularly often express fewer emotions. When I was hospitalized recently, only the women in my family directly checked on me, while the men relied on them for updates. The burden of emotions lies on the women, whereas men are expected to be mere providers. Ironically, when men fall ill, women are expected to inquire directly. This emotional divide is ingrained in my household. I am unsure of other households. However, male-to-male interactions may differ. A “bro” might feel more comfortable checking in on a fellow “bro”.

I believe Adolescence should be screened in Indian classrooms with regional language dubbing. Andrew Tate-inspired accounts are emerging in India, pushing narratives that degrade women. If we don’t educate our youth about the dangers of such ideologies, we risk fostering a generation of men who lack empathy for women’s concerns, some of whom may even resort to violence to assert their views. The time to act is now.

The social message aside, this was Owen’s debut performance, yet he delivered with astonishing depth. It made me wonder how much the Indian film industry could thrive if it prioritized raw talent over nepotism, giving opportunities to newcomers who truly have the skill.

One of the most unsettling moments for me was Jamie’s chilling question to Briony with a steely, mocking gaze: “Are you afraid of a 13-year-old?” Owen Cooper’s portrayal was so disturbingly real that it made even a viewer like me uncomfortable. That’s the power of natural acting. His transformation, from an innocent boy insisting he has done nothing wrong, to someone consumed by uncontrollable rage, is nothing short of remarkable. It’s a performance that leaves a lasting impact.

An Ode to Being Selfishly Independent

Photo by Jaxson Bryden on Pexels.com

“Why don’t you get married? It will make your parents happy. It is selfish not to think about them.”

“If not now, then when?”

“Your biological clock is ticking. We need to see our grandchildren before we die.”

These are some dialogues, I and many, have heard at least once in our lifetime.

Now if we marry someone outside our religion or caste, the society chimes in with:

“The poor parents. Their child married someone from a different religion. Why don’t kids understand the sacrifices parents make?”

Your happiness gets the least precedence.

We are almost always emotionally blackmailed into following the norms set up by society. The questions and self-doubts then arise in our mind – “Why am I so weird? Why don’t I feel happy following what others are following” You think – “If so many people are saying the same thing, it must be right,” – when the truth is something else.

It took some unlearning for me to realize, there are no fixed protocols to be followed to live a happy, fulfilling life. No researcher has written a book saying “this is how everyone should behave or else the world would crumble in a day” Rules are formed because they make life less confusing, but they do not necessarily make life more fulfilling.

The blueprint of life is out there – study, study some more, get a job, get married, have children, work until you die. There are examples to follow, whereas, for someone who is single, there is no chart as such – you work, and then what? This lack of clarity, makes many shy away from choosing a different life. People want stability, and following the rules makes them believe they have certainty in their life, irrespective of whether they are mentally at peace or not.

After studies are done, an adult should have the freedom to chart his own blueprint. Conditions apply, of course. If the adult wants to be a terrorist, having his own blueprint would be a disaster.

I am saddened that society made me doubt myself for so long (I’m in my 30s) by indoctrinating me with the feeling that I, on my own, am not good enough. I need a partner, followed by kids, to be termed complete. We see so many celebrating their wedding, engagement anniversaries but have we seen anyone say “Yay! I have been happily single for a year now!” Obviously not, because we have been conditioned to believe, being single and happy is not something to celebrate.

Time and again, I have seen many friends being forced by their parents into marriage, jobs, religious practices, and then living an unhappy life afterward. And the irony is, they haven’t learned from this. The tradition will continue to the next generation from what I have deciphered from their talks. Because society has taught them this is the norm, this is the way it should be, and they should follow it, no questions asked.

It is all so subjective, this happiness. But more often than not, we have to mold them as per societal constructs, even if it is not what we are ready for at the moment. Forcing can make an individual follow the path you want, but the gratification you hope they would achieve through this process can likely be lost. The whole exercise (be it anything) loses its meaning if it has to be drilled down and is not coming from the heart.

Why are we following everything to a tee, to make others happy, when we ourselves get only one chance to live the way we want?

Why aren’t we giving enough freedom for our kids to think, to choose?

Why aren’t we giving enough importance to our happiness? If not in this life, then when?

Isn’t it selfish to demand your loved ones, who are now adults, to unquestioningly follow the rules you have set or the dreams you have selfishly conjured up in your mind for them?

I have stopped falling into this trap. I am no saint and I don’t aim to be. And I hope everyone gets a chance to be selfishly independent too – to realize how insanely happy and beautiful this life can be, just the way it should be.