Recently, a slew of rape cases have emerged in Delhi. It made think – can we, collectively as women, demand better protection for Indian women from governments across the political spectrum?
Rape cases in Keralam (where I am from) are also increasing each year. This year, up to July, Kerala Police had recorded 1538 cases. Even little boys are being sexually assaulted.
But somehow, no one seems to take sexual violence seriously enough.
This is not a political game where we pull out data to show that only women in BJP-ruled states are getting raped, or that only women in Congress-ruled states are getting raped. Rape is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in India, regardless of which state it happens in or which political party is in power.
I’m sure there isn’t a single woman in India, even in Keralam, who hasn’t had some kind of bad experience.
And I’m not saying India is the only place where this happens. I have had bad experiences in other countries too, involving locals.
Change Should Happen Within Families First Before Society Adopts It
I think my most mind-numbing experience happened when I was 16 or 17 because it involved someone I considered my own brother.
I used to be very comfortable around him and quite physical in the innocent way you can be with someone you completely trust. I would hold his arm, playfully hit him and behave as I normally would around someone I considered family.
Until one day, he crossed a line and groped me.
I know the feeling of shock that goes through your mind when something like that happens. You can become completely paralysed for a moment because your brain simply cannot process what is happening.
But I somehow found the strength to push him away and get out of the situation.
After that experience, I became much more conscious about physical contact with men. I only touch someone if I feel completely comfortable around them. Otherwise, I instinctively recoil.
Another experience happened when I was learning to drive.
I remember the man teaching me repeatedly placing his hand on the steering wheel right next to my breast. At the time, I thought he was doing it accidentally. So I would simply place my hand there to prevent it from happening again.
Looking back now, I realise how naive I was. I instinctively believed that people were good and that there had to be an innocent explanation for their behaviour.
And that’s the thing about sexual harassment and sexual assault. Sometimes these experiences don’t happen with strangers. They happen with people we know. People we trust. And sometimes, even people we never imagined we would have to protect ourselves from.
Women’s Safety Cannot Be a Political Game
Ideally, I would love to see women in every state demand better protection from both the central and state governments. This is something I feel very intensely about.
There are already stringent laws against rape in India. But having laws on paper is not enough. Their implementation remains a problem in many places.
The central and state governments need to work together to ensure that existing laws are properly enforced and that survivors have access to justice and protection.
Unfortunately, sexual violence has also become another opportunity for governments and political parties to blame each other in India.
But what does that achieve for women?
How does it make a woman feel safer?
And how do we prevent sexual violence when there are still people who believe that a woman’s body is somehow their property?
Sex Education Is Part of the Conversation
Society also needs to change, and one way to start is through proper sex education.
Yet even parents in my age group sometimes respond with, “Cheee, little kids don’t need to know all that,” whenever sex education is mentioned.
Many people seem to think sex education means teaching children “how to have sex” or something. I’m not joking.
But age-appropriate sex education is also about teaching children about boundaries, consent, inappropriate touching, body safety and the fact that they have the right to say no.
If we struggle to have these conversations among relatively educated urban families, imagine how difficult it must be to introduce them in more conservative or rural communities.
This is exactly why conversations about sexual abuse and women’s safety in India cannot be limited to one political party, one government or one election.
Change is needed from so many different sides if we genuinely want to reduce rape and sexual violence in India.
It’s not easy. But it should be done.
Delhi’s Reputation for Women’s Safety
Delhi also has a very bad reputation when it comes to women’s safety, regardless of which government is in power.
There seems to be a sense of status quo around it, both among some people and within the political system: “It’s unsafe, and it will remain unsafe.” If that attitude didn’t exist, wouldn’t there be a much stronger public reaction every time a rape case occurred?
I was recently watching a YouTube video of a Nepali woman visiting Delhi. The comments were overwhelmingly along the lines of, “Be careful, Delhi is not safe,” instead of simply saying, “Enjoy your trip.”
That is a shame for India as a whole. Shaming one place in India is, in a way, equivalent to shaming the whole country for me. I have never once thought, “Oh, she should visit Keralam instead because it’s safer.” Instead, I feel bad that anyone visiting India might have to worry about their safety in the first place. I want India as a whole to be safe.
Even Justice Becomes Political
There is another problem.
Even when someone is found guilty and strict punishment is imposed, activists and people from Opposition parties often come forward questioning the evidence or saying, “There’s no proof.”
Then the government, whoever is in power, ends up caught in another political battle.
And when everything becomes a political fight, governments become reluctant to act decisively because there is no obvious political “win.”
This is precisely why the Centre and the states should work together on women’s safety and tackling sexual violence.
Let the critics say whatever they want.
Let political parties argue about everything else.
Some things are bigger than politics.
The safety of women and children should be one of them.
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Photo by Shiva Kumar Reddy
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