Category: EOY

An Ode to Lessons Learned in 2024

As the year comes to a close, it’s time to reflect on the lessons learned this year. I have the utmost gratitude for those who showered me with love, kindness, and patience. However, I also felt discomfort knowing that not everyone who greets me with gifts, smiles, and sweet words considers me as someone worth their time.

Small things that irked me this year:

  • A relative who never supported my writing ventures expected me to support her new Instagram page.
  • People being frighteningly okay with one kind of death over another based on religion, beliefs, and ideologies.
  • When people whom I consider dear went to events without informing me.

The lessons I learned from each of these:

  • You need not feel guilt for treating people like they treat you. You are not a holy saint but a living, breathing, ordinary human being who harbors a myriad of emotions. Having expectations from people you care about is healthy so that boundaries aren’t crossed. Consistent compromises can affect your mental health and even bring down your self-esteem.
  • People are inherently biased. This fact is uncomfortable and dark but true. The way we look at anything is colored by our upbringing, our own experiences, and our way of life. So, for example, when you see someone advocating for human rights, you need to be wary of their agenda – is it genuine? Do they advocate for the rights of all humans or only a select few?
  • We have to accept that we are not everyone’s cup of tea. This holds more true for someone like me, an unmarried woman who says the most unorthodox things and is a social hermit by nature. When you live a life that is the most authentic to you, you will not gain many friends, as you are largely unrelatable. This self-realization will help reduce unnecessary expectations from people who genuinely require something else from the people around them, not what you have to offer.

Instead of blaming people, the solution often lies within. It’s impossible to change everyone and everything to your liking. The answer sometimes is to accept the reality and move on. Maybe in this quest, you will find your tribe that understands and accepts the person that you are, and things will feel less forced and more genuine.

For me, it’s often not the acts, like seasonal gift-giving, that show someone’s true nature, but in the little things – remembering you and asking you to tag along to events they know you would enjoy, uninhibited support to passions that mean a lot to you, and not finding you weird when you show your vulnerable side. It’s also the acknowledgment of the fact that you expected something more and them making an effort to meet that expectation the next time around. Touch wood, I have a select few who understand me the way I want to be understood. But being a hypersensitive individual could mean you get disturbed when people you expected to cheer you take a step back and treat you and the things you love with indifference.

But such is life. Every year, you learn new lessons and new aspects of people around you that you never observed before. You communicate your grievances. But if the subpar treatment continues, you accept, adapt, and move on. It’s the only way to live. The disappointment may linger for some time, but then the lessons merge and become a part of you, and eventually, you start embracing the new normal. That is until you learn your next lesson.

P.S.: This would be my last post for the month and year. Holidays beckon. I wish you and your family a happy, joyous new year!

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Photo by Madison Inouye

An Ode to Surviving 2023

Survival 2023

As the year comes to a close, it’s time for introspection on goals achieved, comfort zones demolished, and new skills acquired. I don’t have much to report, except that I survived.

It was not an easy year. Most of my holidays were spent doing something I intensely dislike – hospital visits. They induce a great deal of stress in me, more mental than physical. For the uninitiated, my parent was diagnosed with a heart condition, which took several days of hospitalization, tests, and treatments. It is difficult for a child to see their parent falter as age catches up on them. This year was that kind of year for me, riddled with lessons.

What doesn’t break you makes you stronger

Time keeps on proving the legibility of this quote. I am a divorcee in India, so I am no stranger to struggles. However, 2023 went a tad extra by making my loved one suffer. Initially, I didn’t know how to deal with the situation, cried helpless tears, and dramatically kept asking, “Why me?” But then the universe kindly shows you a way.

At first, you feel a sort of resistance. You are not ready to accept this new phase in life. You’re breaking out of the comfort zone of all the struggles you have known till now. This is a new struggle, one that you need time to adapt. It becomes easier over time. You get stronger. Not because the concern is any less but because your system learns to handle it better.

I survived a difficult phase this year.

Not everyone will be by your side when you need them

I am grateful for everyone who graced me with their love and support. Their kindness knows no bounds. Some supported me by being present, some through their words, and some with quiet perseverance.

But sometimes, the people you expect the most support from fail to meet your expectations. This could be friends, family, or relatives. It comes as a bolt out of the blue because you realize you probably don’t mean as much to them. It’s a difficult pill to digest. However, I am taking it in my stride, marking it as a lesson that may come in handy in the future.

I survived the absence of (a few) loved ones.

Different ideologies shouldn’t spoil your friendship

I may not have a mainstream view on many issues, but that has never motivated me to lash out at someone with opposing views. This year, I learned to be more accommodating of contradictory views, both religious and political. Sometimes, it is difficult, especially when people use accusatory tones. Still, for the most part, I have been cordial, respectful, and unintimidating.

I survived the danger of fostering a different ideology.

Conclusion

If all you did this year was survive, I want to tell you from personal experience that it’s not something that should be casually dismissed with the notion that it is of less importance. It is a life-changing struggle, dealing with every fiber of your being not working as per protocol and finally making peace with it at some level. It takes courage and patience.

During this holiday season, feeling a sense of failure is natural when you see people around you list all their accomplishments. However, know that dealing with issues that life throws your way, no matter how big or small, is a significant accomplishment in itself. Survival is a beautiful thing. We should celebrate it more.

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Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

An Ode to 2021

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels

2021 may have been another COVID-19 dominated year, but I am thankful for a few lessons and realizations.

Here’s to learning a lot more in 2022.

Signing off. Happy Holidays. See you next year! 🙂