An Ode to Not Telling Everyone Everything

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels

I am into a new experiment nowadays.

Over the past one year, I have been trying not to announce all my latest material possessions, achievements and personal milestones online.

Why? To find out if I can enjoy them without the world getting to know.

I used to be obsessed with posting everything on the gram. Every little thing. “If it’s not online, it never happened,” applied to me. But then I started getting agitated – when I didn’t get enough likes, when my friends or relatives whom I thought are close didn’t respond as often. It sucked out the joy in me and I felt I was getting more and more negative with every passing post.

It was then that I decided to cut back on announcing everything online.

I realized, weirdly, once online, a personal achievement didn’t feel personal anymore. It is now out in the open for the world to judge. It kind of loses its value (for me, at least).

Exposing something that’s near and dear to you has its cons. Once it’s out there, after a day or two, when the comments and likes dwindle down, you lose the high. And then you are looking for the next high. Another super hit post that can derive the maximum likes and comments. You forget to just “sit” with your latest achievement. Your high is not linked with your achievement anymore, it is linked to those likes and comments.

I realized by not posting online, I was able to extend this high. Savor it like slow-cooked food instead of junk. The type of soul-food that’s healthy for you. A high that lasts for days, weeks and sometimes even months. You look back at the milestone and it still seems raw and precious, not yet exposed to anyone’s judgments. It is something that I am enjoying and appreciating a lot honestly.

This is not just applicable for achievements by the way, it can be a selfie that you love, a video you took to capture the beauty around you, a beautiful moment.

Sometimes, the intensity with which you feel about something is not reflected by the people around you, and we all know how big a mood dampener that can be. Our highs might (just might) end up not feeling like a high anymore. Something gets lost in the whole process of displaying things online. For me, it feels like whatever I have posted about has been disconnected from me, and now it’s up to the others to give it value.

I keep telling my friends that if ever there comes up an old-school social media network, that doesn’t rely on validation like likes, I would gladly join it, and ditch the others.

Most of my posts are limited to Insta stories nowadays and are aimed at providing information that others might find helpful in some way – on what I have used, the benefits, cons if any, experiments, thoughts. Rarely about what I have achieved. I share that with my loved ones, but not online.

The rest are for me to savor. For my mind alone, for my heart to hold dear.