An Ode to Finding a Passion Outside Work

Photo by Pixabay

Recently, I talked about the distress I experienced due to excess work. I felt exhausted, working day in and out, and was in severe need of some me-time. I had been “at it” for two years since the start of the pandemic, and I was close to burning out.

Thankfully, I got some time out recently – when my manager went on vacation. I was ecstatic at first. There was no urgent work; it almost felt like I was also on holiday. But then I started experiencing something that I had never experienced in my two years of pandemic-induced erratic work hours – the insufferable boredom that comes with having no work. Was it a withdrawal symptom, a side-effect of having burnt a copious dose of after-work oil? When you finally get some breathing space, you have no clue what to do with it. You are left grasping at straws.

The first few days of zilch micromanagement felt like a dream to me. But by the second or third week, boredom took precedence, and I started actively looking for tasks to self-initiate. A few questions that crossed my mind –

  • Is this what retired people go through? They are relaxed and happy the first few weeks of retirement, but many develop a sense of despair later on.
  • How can I stop myself from feeling this way?
  • Why do we always have to be on the move? Why are we so averse to relaxation?
  • What is the optimal amount of work you need daily to keep yourself happy?

Of course, I do not have the answers to all questions. I am not a researcher or scientist. I apologize if you came here looking for answers. However, I can tell you something from my personal experience:

I am happiest when I have at least half a day’s worth of solid work. The type of work that requires my complete attention, work that takes my mind off all kinds of distractions. When I am consumed by an optimal amount of work that meets my skills, I enter this state of flow that ignites my happy hormones. This “work” that I am talking about is not just restricted to office work; it can be anything – cooking, playing a sport, writing, learning, dancing, singing. The point is that it should be something that is immersive and consumes your entire interest.

It might be why experts recommend having a passion outside work. Once you’re retired, this passion will keep you alive and kicking. For workaholics, finding that excitement outside work might prove challenging. They hardly get the time to pause and seek activities that may have the potential to improve their quality of life in the future. One possibility for such plodders is to go part-time post-retirement in context to their work (maybe consulting). But if you have decided to step away from office work, as most of us plan to do post-60, finding yourself a cause or a passion becomes imperative.

We feel our best when we are in service or when we can provide help in some way. Finding your “Ikigai,” as vouched by the long-living Japanese, is essential to one’s overall well-being and happiness. I am not yet sure what my Ikigai is. I enjoy writing, but I haven’t yet sat down to see if I could write for half a day, nor do I know if this exercise would cater to my emotional health eternally. I did some sewing the other day. It made me feel alive. Maybe Ikigai can be a bunch of things – a heady concoction of multi-colored magic beans that contribute to our general well-being. You can embrace each of them as per the mood and season, mix and match, exercise portion-control, and tuck them away in your customized, personalized happiness jar. All it takes is some time to figure out what those magic beans are.

Bollywood Buzz: Netizens Speculated Alia Bhatt’s Pregnancy Before it Became Public

Source: instagram/@aliaabhatt

I am a big Bollywood fan – a fact I’ve never given away in my blog till now. I wonder why because I have always been a keen observer of Bollywood, indulging in my Filmfare, Stardust, and Cineblitz magazines since a very young age.

As a kid, it was my guilty pleasure since most my age were into Hollywood. Hindi movies were considered uncool.

As an adult, I still stalk Bollywood and everything Bollywood-related. It is how I relax and give my monkey mind a break from overthinking. Needless to say, I am one of those people eagerly waiting for the new Koffee with Karan season on Hotstar.

I think my blog would be incomplete without some Bollywood gossip and banter (nothing toxic; I hate that) because it is as much a part of me as my serious, philosophical side. Two sides of the same coin. With the amount of Bollywood content I consume, maybe I could share something new?

The latest news to hit Bollywood is Alia Bhatt’s pregnancy. Some say she’s due in November. Some say December. But we will never know until it happens (much like her wedding).

A blind that was posted a few weeks back on Miss Malini got it bang-on. Most readers speculated the couple to be Katrina-Vicky Kaushal, but well, we now know the answer.

So, this Bollywood couple who took the plunge recently is all set to be parents. The leading actress and actor are pregnant and expecting the baby in December. Well, we aren’t naming them as removing the cat out of the box will almost be like stealing their thunder. But, you don’t have to wait longer as we hear that the official announcements will happen soon. We are supremely happy and excited about this news and are only waiting for the announcement day now!

You can read the whole post here.

Apparently, as per sources, the news was already shared with a few by Ranbir Kapoor himself during Karan Johar’s birthday party. Viral Bhayani and Manav Manglani will now have a new kid to stalk — unless Ranbir and Alia follow the Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli way and they deny their fans and media any access to their kid’s photographs. Parents know best but I love celebrity kids’ pictures, so I am a bit salty.

P.S: Reddit had predicted the pregnancy way back (in April?) though I have personally not seen that post. The pic below was shared 12 days back by a Reddit investigator. Got to love social media.

A Reddit Investigator Predicting Alia’s Pregnancy from Search Results

Some Questions to Ask Next Time You See a Controversial Outburst in India

Photo by Navneet Shanu

India is increasingly getting polarized. We have a pro-government clan and an anti-government clan. Both are equally stubborn in their own thoughts and action, believing with all their heart that the other is up to no good.

It has become impossible to be objective without offending someone. I hesitate before sharing a piece of good news about the country because the anti-government clan will attack me. It’s the same when you criticize the country because the pro-government clan will get offended.

As Indians, we have sadly lost the ability to differentiate between politics and the well-being of the nation. We are unable to take an objective stance or take a step back to consider ourselves as “one” instead of separate entities and are instead getting into petty fights and finger-pointing. Our national anthem talks beautifully of unity but the truth is we are increasingly becoming divided as the years go by. For a free thinker who cares only for the well-being of the country and not any political party, for someone who wants to see her nation prosper and become a global powerhouse in all aspects, the manner in which India is behaving currently is a huge disappointment.

The riots, hate, and division hardly boost the growth of the country. These elements throw us back financially and emotionally if at all they do something. So why are poeple engaging in them? Where is this polarization coming from? There are a few culprits here:

  1. News Channels: No, I am not talking about only some channels. All are equally biased.
  2. Social Media: The Modi clan supports the leader loyally; the non-Modi clan trolls the leader loyally. There is no middle ground.
  3. Social Messengers: The WhatsApp University is relatively well-known. I need not elaborate on that.

When you subject yourself to a continuous flow of negative news from all three sources listed above, the frustration is imminent. The ground reality might be something else. Internet might be flooded with news of riots, outbursts, hysteria, and violence. However, in real life, you might be sitting in the comfort of your home, enjoying the peaceful surroundings, having a cordial relationship with your neighbors from all communities celebrating each other’s festivals with equal fervor. I have had people ask me if there’s an ongoing war in India, with people rioting 24×7. The fact is the media tends to highlight only the bad, not the good. So a person watching Indian news channels from abroad will end up thinking the country is a perpetual war zone with people getting beaten up or murdered every other second. This is quite extreme from reality. But it is an extreme that cannot be stopped. I happened to read this today in the Open magazine and I can’t agree more.

“The Noise Is Not The Conversation”

What can a citizen do in such situations? Each time you see a piece of polarizing news blasted across media, ask yourself a few questions:

  • Why do some incidents make it to the news, whereas others, like the Assam floods, do not get much coverage?
  • Why do we get only one-sided POVs from some social activists? They tend to hide the other side. What’s their agenda?  
  • Why do we have debates on sensitive topics? And why are panelists who are well-known for making polarizing comments invited to such debates?

Always search for the other side, and not blindly follow what the media shows you. This mantra should be mainly applied when they are highlighting hatred or negativity. When you ask “why” to everything that’s happening, you will realize it’s all a game. A game where we are being played around like puppets. A game to spread hatred and disharmony, to cause division. Why? There might be political and personal reasons behind it. The motivation can also be business-oriented – negative news sells. We can never be 100% sure of the intention behind something, but that shouldn’t stop us from doubting and questioning someone’s agenda behind highlighting hatred – even if it’s coming from our favorite social activist or news channel.

The next step a citizen can take is to stop sharing hatred-inducing posts. We get tempted to share such posts because of the shock factor. I know I certainly do. But I had to step back and think, “Am I improving the situation by sharing this?” When we share polarizing news akin to “look what this person said about Islam/Hinduism” we are not promoting peace. We unknowingly encourage agitation and unrest as no person reads such posts with compassionate eyes.

I picture hatred as this greedy monster kept alive by our own dedicated, unwavering attention. We keep feeding this monster and recharging it with our own infinite supply of hatred. It then turns into an uncontainable being beyond our control. Maybe the only way to tame this monster is by ignoring it. We have given the monster so much attention till now, and it hasn’t worked. So maybe it’s time to do the opposite – ignore when someone is trying to divide us with hateful news or posts. Ignore when someone is trying to agitate you with spiteful comments. It is a long stretch because, as Indians, we are sensitive to a lot of things. But ignorance, sometimes, indeed can be bliss. If we learn to ignore the hatred and don’t give it enough attention, who knows, the greedy monster, with its excessive anger and polarization, might eventually die a slow, painful death.

An Ode to Surya Namaskar & How It Helped Me Manage My Heavy Periods

Photo by Elina Fairytale

Since it is International Yoga Day, I thought I should narrate my own experience with Yoga. I have an on-and-off relationship with it. The irregularity has nothing to do with the practice but my own laziness. I prefer walking. But each time I do Yoga, I am impressed by its benefits.

I started Yoga as a form of exercise to supplement my walking. At that time, I was unaware of the health benefits as the only reason I chose Yoga was to tone my body. I initially went through some basic asanas for beginners and then slowly shifted to Surya Namaskar. It involves 12 steps akin to providing sun salutations.

In one month of doing Yoga, I noticed the following:

  • It strengthened my neck muscles and helped prevent a stiff neck
  • My back pain reduced
  • And the most relieving of all – my periods became more manageable

I cannot comment on whether Yoga helped tone my body because I wasn’t committed enough to try it regularly. The stress is on the third point – how it helped ease my period flow.  

I recently shifted to menstrual cups, so half of my period-related issues got resolved with that step. Before Yoga, I used to have 3-4 days of heavy flow. During the months I diligently practiced Yoga, my heavy flow reduced to 1 day. My period cycle was shorter and more manageable. This is a big win for me. But mind you, you cannot do Yoga just once and think your periods are manageable for life. I have to do it at least twice or thrice weekly to see the positive effects. I skip Yoga during periods because I do not wish to subject my body to stress and stretches at that time.

If you are facing any of the problems I mentioned, I would highly recommend trying Yoga.

Happy International Yoga Day!