I recently finished reading Dr. Vanita Rattan’s Skin Revolution meant for people of color. It was an eye-opener, especially when she said most skincare products are formulated keeping Caucasian skin in mind and are not exactly suitable for skin of color. Dr Vanita Rattan is a cosmetic formulator of Indian origin. She is a doctor who decided to pursue cosmetology to help people of color care for their skin better.
Here are some key takeaways from the book:
If you are more likely to tan rather than burn in the sun, you are considered to have skin of color.
Oily skin: After a few hours of washing your face, your skin looks and feels shiny.
Dry skin: Skin feels tight and uncomfortable.
Combination skin: Skin is often drier on the cheeks and oilier on the T-zone.
Non-comedogenic – a label may indicate that it won’t clog the pores. However, this is an unregulated term, and in fact I struggle to find a non-comedogenic cream without comedogenic ingredients.
Natural – another unregulated term. Natural ingredients often need to be synthesized to be useful in a product.
Start your PM skincare routine at least 2 hours before bed so you have time for actives to penetrate before your face hits the pillow and the product comes off on your sheets.
Ideally, you should introduce only one new ingredient at a time, just once a week, to see how your skin tolerates it.
Purging is when skin cell turnover increases and cells come to the surface faster. This means clogged pores also come to the surface faster so you see a fresh new crop of white heads, black heads and pimples. They were already in the skin and would have shown up in their usual cycle four weeks later, but rapid cell turnover (due to skincare) accelerated the process, so you see it all at once.
I have also seen natural products without preservatives, which leads to mould in your skincare products. This is not safe.
People sometimes feel that if the skin is tingling and burning the product is working, but actually the opposite is true, especially for skin of colour. We should not experience any burning with cosmetic products. If you do, please stop straight away and seek advice.
If you are a person of color, I highly recommend purchasing the book as Dr. Vanita Rattan gives detailed skincare and haircare solutions/tips for all kinds of issues that people of color go through, including hyperpigmentation, acne, dermatitis, and eczema. The book even has dedicated skincare chapters for men, kids, and pregnant women, making it a good reference book for the entire family. I would definitely refer to the book in the future before buying a new product or if I want to treat any particular skin issue.
I was surprised when I learned Wicca is openly practised in India.
Till then, I had only read about it in blogs written by people in the U.S.
Witches are just like ordinary people, blending in seamlessly with society. They don’t ride broomsticks or cast spells on unsuspecting individuals. The real ones tell you not to use the universal energy for negative agendas – “It will hit you back,” they warn. This differs from the stereotypical witches in movies and television dramas, who are portrayed as evil and adept at spewing words of hatred.
As I went through articles and posts by real witches advocating for the principle of “Do no bad to others,” I couldn’t help but notice the similarity to the teachings of practitioners of more mainstream religions who promote similar values. I often wonder if we are all indeed praying collectively to the same energy. Even a book on atheism, The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, does not negate the power of nature and its mystical ways.
Personally, it’s gratifying to know that we all are more united than we think we are – not divided by religion, caste, or community. We are one, all seeking the same things in life – hoping to be heard, protected, and blessed by a higher energy to navigate life more smoothly. The possibility that we must all be asking favors from the same being, using different names, is a heady feeling. It erases any semblance of boundaries. It assures you that humanity is above all. If more individuals shared this perspective, the divisive “us vs. them” mentality could diminish, allowing us to function from a unified standpoint.
I read about Ipsita Roy Chakraverti in a local newspaper. I was mindblown by the fact that a witch existed in India. Such things are usually kept secret in a conservative country like mine, but here was a woman who was unabashedly vocal about her practice and teachings. It was then I learned that Ipsita has authored many books on witchcraft. I decided to try “Beloved Witch” as curiosity got the better of me.
Ipsita is different from other witches in the sense that she does not shy away from promoting her powers. She’s not modest and understands her worth, which is why you often see her showering herself with compliments in the book.
I found it refreshing that Ipsita encourages you to use the all-encompassing universal energy for your own greedy benefits but warns you to be prepared for repercussions. She does not say, “Don’t do this.” Instead, she says, “Do it. But whatever happens after that is your responsibility.” So basically, she’s like a parent telling her young ones to seek adventure, giving them the liberty to learn from their own mistakes.
Now that I am done with my views on the subject, I am going to present some of my favorite thought-provoking quotes and anecdotes from Ipsita’s book. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
The earth is a great storehouse of energy. Merge with that source he told me, and you shall be whatever you wish to be.
She’ll flick some ash off from her cigarette (no, smoking is not permitted in the chalet, but she’ll sneak around the garden shed and wink at us). As the ash plops down and crumbles away, she’ll say, ‘That’s worldly fame for you. Fun while it lasts but don’t count on it to be around. Besides, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.’
The following quote is what I had blogged about previously. It was after writing the post that I read this book, so it was a pleasant surprise for me to see those thoughts come to life in print.
Somehow, eastern yoginis never ‘flew’ but western witches were supposed to ride the broom over hill and dale. I have often wondered about this. And this is what I have discovered. What did the broom symbolize? It stood for hearth and home to which a woman was tied by male domination. As she ‘flew’ away on it, it meant that she was breaking the bonds. It symbolized her freedom. It might as well have been a flying carpet.
Colourful stories abounded about how a long-suffering wife would fly away into the night on this piece of domestic bondage, while her husband slept snugly unaware in his bed. She would revel all night long under the moon and return only at dawn to sweep the hearth with the very broom which had carried her off to her secret trysts.
It has been said that witches were women who were never afraid to ‘fly’. Maybe that is why they had to be burnt.
Women, strong, beautiful or independent minded were called witches so that they could be eliminated. The men who tortured and burnt innocent women in medieval Europe, live on in other places, in different guises. Witch-hunting never stopped. It just took on a more deceptive mask.
Of course, in my experience with thousands of women who have come to me for help, I would say that every strong woman is a witch and she is always hunted. It goes against the nature of most men to tolerate a woman they cannot dominate.
Witch-hunting is present not only in rural Bengal, Bihar, Orissa, Uttar Pradesh or Madhya Pradesh. It prevails everywhere in the world where women stand up for themselves and what they believe in. It is there whenever women refuse to be the pawns or playthings of a callous society. Who is a witch? Or more important, what does she do? As she is a Wiccan, it would be fair to say that she practises Wicca or wiccecraefte or the skills of the wise. She was the original wise woman, the shaman, the healer, the counsellor, the lawyer, the stateswoman of her community. Her power became a threat to men, to organised religion — and hence the persecution, the witch-hunts and the slander.
‘Dr Radhakrishnan, do people in our country work best when they are shouted at or spoken to with sarcasm?’ I asked. He smiled that famous smile of his. Serene, indulgent and amused. ‘Yes, I think three hundred years of servitude have taken their toll. The Indian mind wants and needs love, compassion and understanding but has been weakened by fear. Hence it reacts the most quickly to harshness for that is what it fears. You see, our people have had to put up with so many masters, that even now we understand only the language of compulsion.’
Manifestation and visualization are concepts endorsed by a lot of people, including yours truly. As made clear from the following quote, it is practised in witchcraft as well.
Visualization of what you desire is an important part of every Wiccan ritual.
I hated the thought of my parents making a will because it implied that one day I would be on my own on this planet. And if I was capable of love, they were the only ones I did love. Wills also confirm the worst in human nature. It makes one realize that without legal documents and safeguards, people are vile, greedy and corrupt. There is something very sad in this realization.
‘I agree with Nietzsche about what the free spirit needs. It abhors habits and rules. Everything which goes on and on.’
‘But can marriage become stifling then?’ I asked her. ‘I suppose it can, to certain natures. Such a nature, even if it marries, needs space. You know, don’t you, that Nietzsche compared marriage to a spider’s web. Finally, the threads become traps. That is why, after a time, the spider stuck in the middle, painfully tears apart the mesh enclosing him, even though it will suffer from the wounds — because it must tear these threads off itself, away from its body, away from its soul. It must learn to hate where it used to love and vice versa.’
Wicca was not a dark and sinister practice, it was above board and publicly practised for anybody to check and experience. I proved it to the country. I also brought back the ancient science of quartz therapy to India. Wicca showed the way, once the path had been cleared.
Amongst the men, a very famous Wiccan was said to be none other than Robin Hood. He lived in the green woods, a lover of nature. He had around him a coven of twelve members, he being the thirteenth. He was certainly anti-establishment and fought against all forms of exploitation of the poor and helpless. He was also against organized religion. The woods were his church.
The power seekers wanted control in their own hands. Control over the populace, control over laws and governance. Those with independent, free thinking ways and minds, were a threat. Hence the persecution of Wiccans. Specially if they were women. They became the ‘evil witches’ who always tried to harm people, specially children. Folklore and fairy tales abounded equating witchery with wickedness.
What is wicked? Evil is so relative. What is wrong today, may not be considered so tomorrow. Besides right and wrong are such personal, individual things. I have always set my own standards, keeping only one thing in mind. I do not willingly and purposefully harm another in body, mind or spirit. I do not initiate mischief.
Life was the greatest school, the best laboratory for the most interesting experiments with the human species.Look at them, listen to them, mingle with them and learn.
So is there a heaven where you go if you have been ‘good’? I think we make our own heavens (and hells?) right here — and we continue living in them with those we want near, even after we pass on from our physical bodies.
Before we begin, I want to point out that the quotes posted here are from Portia MacIntosh’s book Your Place or Mine? Not the movie. The book is an entertaining, cute, light-hearted story of two accidental roommates who eventually become much more than they signed up for. It’s a heady mix of fun and frolic, entertaining twists, and relatable scenarios that are part and parcel of life. It might not be the best romantic tale out there, but it keeps you hooked.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:
Your wedding day is the most special day to ever occur… just like everyone else’s.
Watching a new movie is like rolling the dice, you don’t know if you’re going to love it or hate it, if you’re going to laugh or cry, if a dog is going to die and ruin the whole thing! So we reach for our old favourites for the comfort of the familiar, because you can always count on your favourite movies to make you feel better.
Grief is the cost of love. If you feel a lot of sadness to have lost someone, they must have given you a hell of a lot of love while they were alive. And I do love you, my darling. Never forget that. Until we meet again…
See, this is what happens when you get cocky, and you think everything is going your way. Life goes out of its way to laugh in your face, and show you just how bad things can be.
Sometimes I think that, when you’re going through a difficult time, you don’t realise just how tough things are while you’re going through them. It’s almost like you can’t think about it because, if you were to let yourself dwell on how unbearable things seem, the problems you were facing would seem impossible to overcome. But if you keep moving, you keep your head up and your eyes forward, you’ll be through it before you know it.
The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari needs no introduction. The book shares a treasure trove of ideas, concepts, and mental wellness gems we could do well to absorb. As the world progresses towards increased capitalism, we have forgotten to take care of our core emotional needs in the pursuit of fulfilling our materialistic ones. We have become workaholics with no work-life balance. Robin Sharma drills down the fact that work is important, but so is life. If you don’t take care of your health and happiness now, then when? Certainly not after you retire, the age your bank account is filled with money, but your energy becomes bankrupt.
Without further ado, here are some of my favorite thought-provoking quotes from the book. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!
My dad said it best when he said, “John, on your deathbed you will never wish you spent more time at the office.”
To live life to the fullest, you must stand guard at the gate of your garden (mind) and let only the very best information enter.
There is no such thing as objective reality or ‘the real world.’ There are no absolutes. The face of your greatest enemy might be the face of my finest friend. An event that appears to be a tragedy to one might reveal the seeds of unlimited opportunity to another. What really separates people who are habitually upbeat and optimistic from those who are consistently miserable is how the circumstances of life are interpreted and processed.
From struggle comes strength. Even pain can be a wonderful teacher. Or to put it another way, how can you really know the joy of being on the summit of the mountain unless you have first visited the lowest valley.
Stop judging events as either positive or negative. Rather, simply experience them, celebrate them and learn from them.
The secret of happiness is simple: find out what you truly love to do and then direct all of your energy towards doing it. If you study the happiest, healthiest, most satisfied people of our world, you will see that each and every one of them has found their passion in life, and then spent their days pursuing it. This calling is almost always one that, in some way, serves others.
Saying that you don’t have time to improve your thoughts and your life is like saying you don’t have time to stop for gas because you are too busy driving. Eventually it will catch up with you.
Your self-image affects the way you feel, act and achieve. If your self-image tells you that you are too young to be a successful lawyer or too old to change your habits for the better, you never will achieve these goals. If your self-image tells you that lives rich with purpose, excellent health and happiness are only for people from backgrounds other than your own, this prophecy will ultimately become your reality.
There is nothing noble about being superior to some other person. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self.
Never get into the petty habit of measuring your self-worth against other people’s net worth.
Every second you spend thinking about someone else’s dreams you take time away from your own.
People who study others are wise but those who study themselves are enlightened.
The Chinese define image in these terms: there are three mirrors that form a person’s reflection; the first is how you see yourself, the second is how others see you and the third mirror reflects the truth. Know yourself. Know the truth.
My point is this: never do anything because you have to. The only reason to do something is because you want to and because you know it is the right thing for you to do.
Never be reluctant to ask even the most basic of questions. Questions are the most effective method of eliciting knowledge.
Happiness comes through good judgment, good judgment comes through experience, and experience comes through bad judgment.
The ten-minute period before you sleep and the ten-minute period after you wake up are profoundly influential on your subconscious mind. Only the most inspiring and serene thoughts should be programmed into your mind at those times.
Focus only on your priorities, those activities that are truly meaningful. Your life will be uncluttered, rewarding and exceptionally peaceful.
When spider webs unite, they tie up a lion.
This is the mantra I suggest you repeat at least thirty times a day: ‘I am more than I appear to be, all the world’s strength and power rests inside me.’ It will manifest profound changes in your life.
Few things are as meaningful as being a part of your children’s childhood. What is the point of climbing the steps of success if you have missed the first steps of your own kids? What good is owning the biggest house on your block if you have not taken the time to create a home? What is the use of being known across the country as a red-hot trial lawyer if your kids don’t even know their father?
Life doesn’t always give you what you ask for, but it always gives you what you need.
An addiction to distraction is the death of your creative production.
When you go after what you want, with love and wild abandon, you tap into the energy that created the stars and the seas. A kind of magic begins to enter your life and things happen that defy your comprehension. Signs start to appear, suggesting that you are on the right track.
Yes, make plans and set goals. Work hard and go for what you desire. That’s part of being a responsible person — it is true that setting intentions does make many of them come to life. But hold on to your plans and goals with a very loose grip. Often, the universe will send you a treasure in an unexpected package.
One of the most enduring of all the ancient laws of humanity is that we see the world not as it is, but as we are.
Too many potentially soaring lives are degraded and defeated by an attraction to busyness rather than a monomaniacal focus around what matters most.
No idea works for someone unwilling to do the work.
To have the results only 5 percent of the population have, do what 95 percent of society is unwilling to do.
If you do not know who you are and what it is you truly want to be, then how can you recognize and seize your destiny when it presents itself to you? Know yourself and your destiny will find you. Clarity precedes mastery.
Your wounds can be turned into your wisdom. Your stumbling blocks can become your stepping stones if you choose. Do not miss the remarkable opportunity that adversity and even tragedy presents. Your life can be made even better by the things that break your heart.
The more deeply we know ourselves, the more we can make authentic choices to make the leadership journey back home to the place that we have always known, at our core, we have wanted to be. In the Greco-Roman temples of the past, above the entrance one would often find the following words: “Know thyself and you will know the secrets of the universe and the gods.”
Once and for all stop being so hard on yourself. You are a human being and human beings have been designed to make mistakes. Coming to the realization that we all make mistakes and that they are essential to our growth and progress is liberating.
Life’s simplest pleasures are life’s best ones.
Saying things we don’t really mean becomes a habit when we practice it long enough. The real problem is that when you don’t keep your word, you lose credibility. When you lose credibility, you break the bonds of trust. And breaking the bonds of trust ultimately leads to a string of broken relationships. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This simple practice will have powerful results.
A problem only becomes a problem when seen as a problem.
I recently finished Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha. The book takes you through the life of the fictional protagonist, Siddhartha, who comes from an affluent family. He is restless and dissatisfied with life and feels the need to search for enlightenment and spiritual fulfillment. He eventually finds it on his own, though the path he took to attain enlightenment is rocky and full of challenges. This story is entirely fictional and not be confused with Gautama Buddha’s story.
Personally, I found the book a bit difficult to read as the topics discussed were quite deep and complex. The language was wordy, and it interfered with my focus somewhat. However, I still found many meaningful and beautiful quotes throughout the novel. Quotes that make you think, quotes that beautifully capture the very essence of life.
Here are some of the best:
Wisdom cannot be imparted. Wisdom that a wise man attempts to impart always sounds like foolishness to someone else. Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, be fortified by it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.
I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.
The world is not imperfect or slowly evolving along a path to perfection. No, it is perfect at every moment; every sin already carries grace in it.
The river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere, and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.
The only way to live is to accept each minute as an unrepeatable miracle.
Wherever you are, when you can sense something of the eternal in yourself and in the world, you are close to the source of all being and all knowing.
When someone is seeking, it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal.
Everyone can perform magic, everyone can reach his goals, if he is able to think, wait, and fast.
The opposite of every truth is just as true! Any truth can only be expressed and put into words when it is one-sided. Everything is one-sided which can be thought with thoughts and said with words. It is all one-sided, all just one half, all lacks completeness, roundness, oneness.
Because, like all good things in life, NVC takes effort. And practice. Having just finished the book, I only have an idea of what to say but no practical experience.
Conflict resolution is an interesting topic to me since we have to deal with conflicts in every aspect of our lives. How can we be stern and kind at the same time? How can we get the best out of any situation? Being able to communicate effectively is an art in itself.
I have always taken away something, if not everything, from every book I’ve read – a new kind of awareness. What I took away from this one was to take a moment to step back and focus on needs instead of the more apparent negatives during an argument. It helps with forgiveness. It keeps you calm. So it’s a win-win overall.
What is NVC?
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a practice that must be consciously ingrained in our daily interactions to see results. It includes letting go of your judgments and interacting with the other person to focus on each other’s needs instead of playing the blame game. We attribute violence to physical and mental abuse. But here, the author talks about negative communication as violence too. Things like incessant blaming, judging, silent treatment, and mocking all form a part of violent communication.
So here are some of the key takeaways from the book:
Focusing on needs
The four components of NVC include: what we are observing, feeling, and needing, and what we would like to request to enrich our lives. To summarize, the two parts of NVC are 1) expressing honestly 2) receiving empathically.
Connect your feeling with your need: “I feel.. because I need..”
Something you need to keep repeating to yourself whenever you are agitated. What is it that you need? Focus on each other’s primary emotion (need) instead of lashing out at each other.
Avoiding blame and judgment
Why would people want to tell the truth, knowing they will be judged and punished for doing so?
The more people hear blame and judgment, the more defensive and aggressive they become and the less they will care about our needs in the future. So even if our present need is met in the sense that people do what we want, we will pay for it later.
Makes you think, doesn’t it? Why would someone tell you the truth if they knew they would be misunderstood or shouted at? I feel the more we make someone feel uncomfortable and “dirty” for telling us the truth, the more they will hide it the next time.
Being empathic even with people who hurt you
Blaming is easy. People are used to hearing blame; sometimes they agree with it and hate themselves – which doesn’t stop them from behaving the same way – and sometimes they hate us for calling them names – which also doesn’t stop their behavior. If we sense blame entering their mind, we may need to slow down, go back, and hear their pain for a while more.
NVC stresses hearing the other person a while longer and understanding their feelings before we put forward our requests. Such a method lets the other person relax and be in a proper frame of mind to receive and reciprocate.
Conflict Resolution
The more experience I have gained in mediating conflicts over the years and the more I’ve seen what leads families to argue and nations to go to war, the more convinced I am that most schoolchildren could solve these conflicts. If we could just say, “Here are the needs of both sides. Here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs?,” conflicts would be easily resolved. But instead, our thinking is focused on dehumanizing one another with labels and judgments until even the simplest of conflicts becomes very difficult to solve. NVC helps us avoid that trap, thereby enhancing the chances of reaching a satisfying resolution.
Why can’t warring countries adopt this methodology, sit together, and discuss resolutions in a non-confrontational way? The world would be a more peaceful place to live in.
The Monkey Dilemma 
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